I missed you mommy

As of Monday I started training for my part-time job as a hostess in a restaurant. I have to say it's been rather liberating to go somewhere other than the store for more than an hour and not have the girls with me. Yes I do miss them. I've been with Sweet Pea 24/7 for the last four and a half years, and Cocoa for the last two and a half.
When they awake, I'm there to get them a cup of milk and breakfast.
Then bath them, dress them, play with them, teach them.
Make them lunch and then put them down for a nap.
Play with them again and get their dinner ready.
Play with them some more or maybe enjoy a movie and then put them to bed.
Even when I'm asleep, I'm still on duty ready to soothe them when they awake from a bad dream.
I'm there early in the morning when Cocoa stumbles in the room and reaches her arms up to me to pull her into the bed.
Now there is that window of time that Mommy will be gone. I wonder about all the things I'll miss and all the things they will miss. I haven't had to stay at work late but soon I'm sure there will be days I won't be home till 11:30 at night. Well past the time they've already gone to bed. How will they deal? I'm sure they'll be fine. Sweet Pea seems to be adjusting well but she does seem to want to be around me more. Cocoa is finding it a little harder. She acts like she's fine but when I come home she only wants mommy and has been throwing a little tantrum or two to show it. It's been nice to hear as I walk in the door, "HI MOMMY, HI MOMMY!!!", "MOMMY'S HOME!!" in their little voices as they run to the gate by the back door and reach up their arms for a hug. Now I get to feel what it's like for Daddy when he comes home. They've been a little bit of handful for him and he hasn't been able to do some of the things he wanted to do when he got home but I'm sure he manages just fine. He's a good father. I'm hoping he can now see how sometimes I just feel like the life is sucked out of me and just how quickly you're pulled in two different directions because they both want your attention. It's still tough to think that I won't be putting their pajamas on and tucking them into bed. I won't be there to kiss Sweet Pea good night or sit by Cocoa's bed as she clutches my finger till she falls asleep. Cocoa didn't seem to want to go to sleep last night so I finally gave up and let her fall asleep beside me as I studied for my test. I woke up and went downstairs this morning and Sweet Pea was awake and watching cartoons. Eventually Cocoa woke up, came downstairs, came up to me and said, "I miss you mommy, I missed you." Things will be changing and with time I'm sure she'll adjust as we all will.